Confessions of a Mom

Our pastor is doing a series on "Confessions of a Pastor" and I thought that after today, I definitely owe my own confession.

We were in a rush to get to church today (this is NOT unsual) and I had bathed both girls before church. Well...two things happened as a result of that combination
Rush + Bath time =

1.)Seriah going around telling everyone, "Smell me, I'm clean today!" As if the child has never before had a bath...ok, so maybe she gets one a year but still...just kidding!

And

2.) Rachel telling us (AFTER church), "Mom, Dad...we forgot to put my panties on under my dress today!" The kid was commando at church!! Yes, today was defintely Father's Day. Had it been Mother's Day I would've gotten a D- for the day! :)

Water

This is the simplest thought, but today as I bathed my girls and watched the water turn murkey (they were a little over-due for a tubby :) ) I decided to drain the tub and refill it with fresh water to rinse them off. As the tub was emptying of the murky water and refilling with fresh, I was reminded of how incredible blessed I am. I have clean water at the turn of a faucet, any time a day. I have so much clean water that I can drain a tub and refill it to make sure my little princesses are adequately clean. And I remembered that a bath, even in murky water, is a luxury for many children...children I know and have come to love that live in Honduras. And while my heart felt somewhat guilty for bathing my girls in such luxury, I didn't dwell there. Instead, I thanked God that He has made us so rich as to have clean water whenever, wherever for me and my children. Thank you, Father!

Stats on the Girls

Name: Rachel Mari DeWalt (Rachel= "little lamb" Mari= "wished for child" ->we did not know the meaning of her middle name when we...or should we say, God, chose it!)

Age: 5

Words that characterize me:

Smiley

Kind-hearted

Hugger

Sweet

"Spicy"

Fun but cautious (in other words sends her little sister in first to "test things out")

Compassionate

Pray-er (the girl can pray!)

Tom-boy with enough girl to keep her sweet

Favorite things to do:

Have all her family (mom, dad, and sister) together

Color coloring pages or pictures of her family

Play with her sister

Snuggle

Wrestle

Play anything active and outside

Read to anyone who will listen

Go to worship in the "big church" (aka. "adult service")

Favorite song(s):

You Are My Sunshine

Here I am to Worship

I've Got Soul- by the Killers

Preferred Mode of transportation:

Bike

Favorite Food:

Steak and Mashed Potatoes

or

Chicken Fingers and Fries

Rachel is our little ray of sunshine. She's got a lot of my (Brenda's) characteristics and love for people. Rachel values people and how they feel. She's constantly looking for ways to make people feel special. She has had a special bond with Seriah from the day we met her in the hospital and they have become such sweet friends ever since. Rachel loves to help people, whether it's through giving offering money at church (knowing that it goes to help people have food and clean water) or through simply doing something kind for someone. She's a tender-hearted soul for sure, but she definitely has a stubborn streak. Sounds a lot like her mom, doesn't it?!

Name: Seriah Nevaeh-Michelle

Age: 3

Characteristics: Funny, Laughing, Loving, Sweet, Tender-hearted, Animal lover, Creative, Dramatic, Agile, Girly girl

Favorite things to do:

Play with play-dough

Watch Caillou

Dress up in a costume or dress and/or wig/hat

Play with Fisher Price Little People

Play with her big sister

Sing and make up songs

Ask questions....lots and lots of questions!

Read books with Mom, Dad, and Rachel

Favorite Songs:

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep

Oh Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun

Anything with a good beat!

Preferred mode of transportation:

Running, Skipping, Hopping, and anything BUT walking

Favorite Foods:

PB&J

Mac and Cheese

Anything that can qualify as "un healthy" is what's first choice on her menu!

Seriah came into our life planned by God, but unexpected by us! She has been our unexpected blessing! I believe God brought Seriah into our life to encourage us to laugh more. She makes any normal or routine thing into some kind of creative activity. If it's getting ready for bed, then she's dancing and twirling into her pj's (and sometimes forgetting the pj's part and just doing the dancing and twirling). She is rarely still and incredibly coordinated. It seems her little brain is always thinking up a new way to do something that's been done the same way over and over again. Seriah was God's out-right gift to us. We were not looking or planning for another child as quickly as Seriah came but He placed her square in our path. We are so glad He did.

What we've been up to

What we've been up to lately...

Seriah often dons this blonde wig and wears it around the house

or to Target! On this occasion, she's wearing her swimming

cap on top of the wig. What she's doing with the mug is

simply adding a little more humor to her get-up!

She's our little one with a big sense of humor.

Reid and I got to get away and go skiing at Loveland

Ski Area for a day! It was heavenly.


Ahhh...how many takes does it take to get
a good family photo?
Too many! :) We're all a little loopy by this take
and we call it good!

Our little hikers come bouncing down the hill
to put their stamp of approval on the Christmas
tree that Reid and I have scoped out to cut down



Seriah was cold one day and being that she's
about the size of a flea, I decided to put her
in my zip up vest to warm up. She thought
that was hilarious.
*Photo courtesy of Rachel

Rachel gets a dance with Daddy in the kitchen.
This kid's smile can light up a room!

We haven't had much snow yet, but on this

particular day I helped the girls build their

first snowman. They thought it was hilarious

when he melted and his eyes fell out. Gotta

wonder about their sense of humor...

Out of this world

…is how I can describe how I’m feeling as I prepare for my week-long short term mission trip in Honduras. What started out as a passion to go on this short-term mission trip has morphed into a whole other thrill. On Wednesday, September 10th I will have the priviledge of being picked up by a Compassion International representative in Tegucigalpa, Honduras. We’ll travel 2 hours in the car to the Compassion site in Comayagua where I will finally meet our sponosored child of 9 years! His name is Enyel. It’s hard to put into words how significant this is to both Reid and I, who have daily prayed over this boy and written letters back and forth to him.
I will have the opportunity to look into his eyes, laugh with him, meet his family and his teachers, and share lunch with him. Enyel’s letters are always full of colored pictures, lots of questions, and stories about what is going on in his world. I can’t wait to step into that world…even if it’s for but a few hours!

To Just Stand by...

I'm in a season right now of inner struggle for a dear and precious friend. It is so hard to stand by and pray when one you love so dearly is being broken in every way and feels like she can't even stand up under the strain that is being placed upon her life. All of me wants to just run to her and fix it all up for her; cover her pain, heal her heart, and make her whole again. Yet, this isn't something I'm qualified to do. The One I serve and adore is the only One capable of such a feat.

As I was meeting with the Lord this morning and drawing my breath and life from Him this dear friend was on my heart. And yet, as I read the words of Brother Lawrence Practicing the Presence of God (I highly recommed this priceless classic!) I found such comfort in the Lord. He writes:

"I am in pain to see you suffer so long. What gives me some ease and sweetens the feelings I have for your griefs is that they are proofs of God's love toward you....Ask of God, not deliverence from your pains, but strength to bear resolutely, for the love of Him, all that He should please, and as long as He shall please."

And then this morning there was such a strong challenge to my own soul in my readings:

"We must make our heart a spiritual temple, wherein to adore Him incessantly. We must watch continually over ourselves, that we may not do or say nor think anything that may displease Him...I know that to arrive at this state the beginning is very difficult, for we must act purely in faith. But though it is difficult, we know also that we can do all things with the grace of God, which He never refuses to them who ask it earnestly. Knock and persevere in knocking and I answer for it that He will open to you in His due time, and grant you all at once what He has deferred for many years...Pray to Him for me as I pray to Him for you."

Kitchen Worship

So many times I think about blogging and then wonder...if I blogged, what would I blog about? Would anyone get past the first sentence? Would even I get past the first sentence?! I often long for deep thoughts that, for this season in life, seem to constantly escape me. And so then I end up blogging...well...actually just posting pictures because I have nothing, really, to say!

Worthy or not of posting or reading...here goes!

Yesterday I had some worship music playing in the kitchen while the girls were napping. I was just doing little things around the house when I felt drawn into the kitchen where the music was playing and wrapped up in the song and then into all-out worship before the Lord. It was such a sweet, brief moment, but I am so glad that He interrupted my day for a dance! In those brief moments yesterday, I was reminded of the place that the Lord truly taught me to worship.

It was in this little church in Antigua, Guatemala nearly 8 years ago. I was there in Antigua for 6 weeks studying to finish up my degree in Spanish and the second Sunday I was there I stumbled upon this church. I think it was the only evangelical church in Antigua. I wish I could remember the name of it! Oh well...
When I arrived in Guatemala, I had tons of "book Spanish" and comprehension of the language, but wasn't very good at speaking Spanish. That first time in this little church in Antigua, all I hoped to do was understand a little...just a little and improve my comprehension, while (hopefully) having a chance to worship. I had no idea that God was going to revolutionize my idea of worship in that place!

Coming from the western culture of Christianity, I've always grown up in the style of worship where there's a "warm up song," (you know, something sort of up-beat that gets you a little excited and attempts to bring you into an atmosphere of worship), then there's that mid-transition song. The mid-transition songs purpose seems to be to attempt to engage you more deeply in the worship and focus your worship and praise solely on God. Then there's typically that third song that tries to wrap it all up and really stir your heart.

Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against this form of worship. I think it works and is effective. The issue I have is with our hearts...my heart...that it should even need a warm-up song before falling into all-out worship of the Creator of the Universe. I had always seemed to me a little strange that, in most churches, people sing the first song somewhat half-heartidly and then by the second song ...they might be ready to raise their hands (if they're inclined that way)...and that by the 3rd song it seems "natural" to all-out worship.
It wasn't until I experienced these people worshipping in this church in Antigua that I understood worship...true worship. Worship that begins even before the music starts. Worship that explodes on the first note of the first song. Worship that is true and clear (not wild and showy) with the very first word of the first song. It was there in that little church that my soul, maybe for the first time, connected with the Lord in what I felt was true worship. I didn't have to warm up. I didn't have to "clean up." I didn't have to mentally prepare. I just came and gave what I had to give to him...as soon as the music began.

I've been away from that little church for almost 8 years now and I can feel my flesh sometimes trying to return to that old way/habit of worship that I grew up with. I find myself sometimes, with everything in me, fighting to simply enter into worship. Not because I feel like it. Not because I need an emotional feel-good fix. But because it is what God requires of me and because of what I know He is worthy of. He doesn't need any warm-up song from me. He wants all-out raw worship from me.

What about you? Does any of this resonate with you? Have you ever felt like you just wanted to walk in on a Sunday morning and lay your heart bare in worship before Him but haven't because no one else is doing that or it doesn't seem prudent? I'm wondering, if that is what holds us back, when we ever got the idea that it's better to be a prudent worshipper rather than a true worshipper? What does that look like for you? I'm not saying that everyone needs to be raising their hands and getting crazy. For some of us it simply means closing our eyes and sitting down in the presence of the Lord as we sing the words of praise back to the Lord. For some of us it's necessary to raise our hands and we can't even stop them from going up if we wanted to. For some it means bowing on our knees before Him. There are so many expressions...

Seriah keeps warm in her cute hat